This article is all about showing couples who often complain of their spouse brutality, abuse, assault and unlovely behaviors and the possible ways to cope and live in peace with such a spouse without opting for divorce. Often times we hear couples with statements like: “my husband is beast”, “I regret being married to that animal”, “My wife is a dog”. All these and other hearth breaking terms came as result of the wife or husband exhibiting animal tendencies in their marriage relationships. They can be likening to “animal in human skin”.
Is it possible to live with a beast in the same house or is it possible to be married to animal? Yes, it is possible.
Custom and Culture have proved that today, though no government have come to approve such marriage arrangement. For example In June, 2003 a 9year old girl was married to a dog in Calcutta in India. In Nov, 2007 a man married a female dog in India. In 2005, 46 years old Sharon married Cindy (Dolphin). In June, 2006, Orissa fell in love with Cobra. (Snake)
In reality a man can be married to animal (animal in human skin). How you may ask? That can be possible when a wife or husband exhibits animal characters or tendencies (beast nature) in their marriage relationships. What are these beast tendencies and how can you identify them in any marriage? Wild Animals as we know possess the following traits:
A. They are not friendly.
B. They are violent.
C. They don't think.
D. They don't reason.
E. They live in their own world.
F. Always trying to escape.
The beast or animal nature outlined above forms the bases of violent, unfriendliness, infidelity, and lack of trust in marriage. Today many marriage relationships are suffering heavily under the yoke of this "animal in the home". Many have filed up divorce suit as a rest of assault, abuse, irrational thinking of their spouse and their inconsiderable attitude of their partners feelings.
How do we handle a husband or wife with these outlined characters or behaviors? How do we achieve a peace without if a couple finds him or herself in a tense atmosphere without filing for a divorce? How can such a husband or wife be changed?
The following four steps will help change the husband or wife:
1. Build a good affection. Show this animal (wife/husband) love. Prove your love. Declare your love to him or her. Perfect love removes fear. 1 John 4:18. Animal is always afraid of man. When there is perfect love in Marriage fear will disappear. Fear in Marriage brings lack of trust and hinder free flow of communication. With your proof of love, No matter how brute your spouse, love can change him or her. A good example is dog (man best friend as it is always being called). True love knows no limit. True love can break any barrier no matter how tough.
2. What makes him or her violent? What always bring this beast nature from this husband/wife? Find out. Hunger in any animal increases their vigilance and the vigilance brings out their brutality. What are his likes and dislikes? What are things that always provoke him or her? What makes him or she behaves like animal? Is it food or sex? Give him or her he or she wants and there will be peace. Prov.16:14
3. Don't attack any animal if you want to get the best from him. If you are brutal to your spouse you will never and can never get the best from him or her.
4. Animal has this instinct of always trying to escape. Find out what is responsible for your spouse always trying to escape from you to somewhere else? What is responsible for his comfort outside his marriage? May be his newly found lover is giving him something you can provide but you refuses to provide it or newly found lover boy is giving your wife something you can do but you refuses to do. The key is simple: "Provide the needed comfort or satisfaction you will bring back the animal home".
Is it possible to marry and live with animal in the same house? The answer is yes. No matter how difficult your spouse, you can achieve peace, love and build a strong lovely relationship void of assaults and abuse. Don't quit. Divorce is never the option.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
What is Needed for a Successful Marriage
Marriages are crumbling in America. There are many reasons why marriages are failing and it would be impossible to name all of those reasons here. Times are changing and people's concept of marriage has changed. Some people are waking up to the fact that they were probably better off single. Some chose an incompatible mate but chose to have a family and stayed with their mates. Many people chose to be married but live separate lives. Whatever the case, marriages are definitely on the rocks.
The family unit is giving into the pressures of society as far as how relationships are. On television, most families are characterized as being schizophrenic, sex crazed or having serious problems with extended family members. This has an effect on American society in which television has distorted what the family should be striving for which is an element of understanding, harmony or peace.
What has really did damage to marriages is the fact that parts of the civilized world has defined marriage as the woman wanting to be secure (home, possessions and security) while the man provides these things. Women are waking up and providing these things for themselves, making decisions for them, which according to patriarchal rules, is a no-no. So most women are choosing to be single and most men are not committing because of various factors. Society is changing as far as marriage is concerned.
Most marriages are breaking up because of not understanding the purpose of the other individual. People want to expand their horizons of self worth within marriage and because of traditional rules that were made up to keep relationships subject able, many people are escaping that mentality of slavery in any kind of relationship.
So if you are married, there are several things that you must do to create an atmosphere of harmony between you and your spouse and here are some of those elements to make your marriage a happy marriage.
1. Create a portal in which your mate can explore her/his real life passion.
This is very important. Even within a marriage, each person is an individual. You should help your mate accomplish their individual goals.
2. Give your mate plenty of room to grow and experience life.
Just because you are married does not mean that it has to turn into a prison. Let your mate do the things that they need to do to make them happy.
3. Make sure that your mate has significant time to themselves to think about their life purpose.
This is important. Everyone needs a time for reflection so provide your mate with those private times that he/she needs to get their mental and spiritual thoughts together.
Marriage and Family Counseling - Really Important!
Marriage and Family Counseling is important. Marriage and Family counselors help couples work out their problems to develop a system of love, trust and oneness in a relationship. Counselors can dig and see the root cause of the problem and recommend a solution for the ills and challenges of the couple or family. Marriage and family counselors are mental health professionals who bring a family perspective to a person, couple or organization. They treat families, mental, emotional and various health and behavior problems.
If you have children, it is great to have them as a part of the program since they are a part of the family. Marriage counseling considers peripheral characters, such as the Mother-in-Law, Father-In-Law, other relatives and the effects that they have on the marriage. This is accomplished via personality interviews with extended family members.
Marriage counseling brings out controversial issues. It could be some elements of a spouse's past that are hidden which affect the relationship deeply. Many of these issues can stop a marriage cold, such as incest, rape of a relative and abuse in a previous marriage. When problems like this occur, marriage therapy is truly needed to solve the problem. If your mate agrees, then this is one way to improve your marriage or else, the misery will continue.
Creating Fields of Love with Marriage
Many married couples are always confrontational because they can not forgive and forget. Some couples never recover from the problems in a relationship but choose to stay the course while being totally miserable with the choices that they made. They stop romancing each other and doing the things that allowed the relationship to flourish in the first place.
If you seek the professional help of a marriage counselor, they can provide a battery of tests and evaluate to study, comprehend and obtain new solutions for helping couples in their marriage. Most individuals resign themselves to live under a roof of controversy and loudness. This is detrimental to people who have families. Counseling is great and can heal the wounds of a person, family or extended family. Counseling can focus on brief, solution-focused, family-centered treatment which is center towards the cause of problems in your marriage instead of the symptoms. If you are married, you might want to consider this kind of treatment to resolve your problems.
Recognizing Certain Problems in Marriages
These issues are widely known to cause problems in marriages:
- Families facing severe mental illnesses and emotional disorders, such as schizophrenia and depression.
Many marriages have to take on the extra responsibility of a loved one or parent coming down with an illness. Sometimes, this causes pressure on one or both people in the relationship and can be financially taxing. The trend is to put that person in a nursing home or facility that can treat their disorder but a married couple can turn these kinds of situations into gold if they plan correctly and realize that not all is bad. This could actually enhance and help the marriage if looked at from a proper perspective.
- Substance abuse
A big problem in marriages is when a husband or wife has a drinking problem. Substance abuse can lead to spousal abuse. It can also cause children to become upset and carry memories of abuse for a long time. This issue has been studied for years and now, local governments are implementing free programs for spouses that have a problem with substance abuse to get help.
Marriage can be a good deal if you really work at respecting each other and love each others purpose.
Joshua Uebergang is owner of Free-Relationship-Advice.org where he teaches people free relationship advice online. You can also get more advice for a successful marriage. He has a free newsletter on relationships you can signup to where you'll get a special bonus.
The family unit is giving into the pressures of society as far as how relationships are. On television, most families are characterized as being schizophrenic, sex crazed or having serious problems with extended family members. This has an effect on American society in which television has distorted what the family should be striving for which is an element of understanding, harmony or peace.
What has really did damage to marriages is the fact that parts of the civilized world has defined marriage as the woman wanting to be secure (home, possessions and security) while the man provides these things. Women are waking up and providing these things for themselves, making decisions for them, which according to patriarchal rules, is a no-no. So most women are choosing to be single and most men are not committing because of various factors. Society is changing as far as marriage is concerned.
Most marriages are breaking up because of not understanding the purpose of the other individual. People want to expand their horizons of self worth within marriage and because of traditional rules that were made up to keep relationships subject able, many people are escaping that mentality of slavery in any kind of relationship.
So if you are married, there are several things that you must do to create an atmosphere of harmony between you and your spouse and here are some of those elements to make your marriage a happy marriage.
1. Create a portal in which your mate can explore her/his real life passion.
This is very important. Even within a marriage, each person is an individual. You should help your mate accomplish their individual goals.
2. Give your mate plenty of room to grow and experience life.
Just because you are married does not mean that it has to turn into a prison. Let your mate do the things that they need to do to make them happy.
3. Make sure that your mate has significant time to themselves to think about their life purpose.
This is important. Everyone needs a time for reflection so provide your mate with those private times that he/she needs to get their mental and spiritual thoughts together.
Marriage and Family Counseling - Really Important!
Marriage and Family Counseling is important. Marriage and Family counselors help couples work out their problems to develop a system of love, trust and oneness in a relationship. Counselors can dig and see the root cause of the problem and recommend a solution for the ills and challenges of the couple or family. Marriage and family counselors are mental health professionals who bring a family perspective to a person, couple or organization. They treat families, mental, emotional and various health and behavior problems.
If you have children, it is great to have them as a part of the program since they are a part of the family. Marriage counseling considers peripheral characters, such as the Mother-in-Law, Father-In-Law, other relatives and the effects that they have on the marriage. This is accomplished via personality interviews with extended family members.
Marriage counseling brings out controversial issues. It could be some elements of a spouse's past that are hidden which affect the relationship deeply. Many of these issues can stop a marriage cold, such as incest, rape of a relative and abuse in a previous marriage. When problems like this occur, marriage therapy is truly needed to solve the problem. If your mate agrees, then this is one way to improve your marriage or else, the misery will continue.
Creating Fields of Love with Marriage
Many married couples are always confrontational because they can not forgive and forget. Some couples never recover from the problems in a relationship but choose to stay the course while being totally miserable with the choices that they made. They stop romancing each other and doing the things that allowed the relationship to flourish in the first place.
If you seek the professional help of a marriage counselor, they can provide a battery of tests and evaluate to study, comprehend and obtain new solutions for helping couples in their marriage. Most individuals resign themselves to live under a roof of controversy and loudness. This is detrimental to people who have families. Counseling is great and can heal the wounds of a person, family or extended family. Counseling can focus on brief, solution-focused, family-centered treatment which is center towards the cause of problems in your marriage instead of the symptoms. If you are married, you might want to consider this kind of treatment to resolve your problems.
Recognizing Certain Problems in Marriages
These issues are widely known to cause problems in marriages:
- Families facing severe mental illnesses and emotional disorders, such as schizophrenia and depression.
Many marriages have to take on the extra responsibility of a loved one or parent coming down with an illness. Sometimes, this causes pressure on one or both people in the relationship and can be financially taxing. The trend is to put that person in a nursing home or facility that can treat their disorder but a married couple can turn these kinds of situations into gold if they plan correctly and realize that not all is bad. This could actually enhance and help the marriage if looked at from a proper perspective.
- Substance abuse
A big problem in marriages is when a husband or wife has a drinking problem. Substance abuse can lead to spousal abuse. It can also cause children to become upset and carry memories of abuse for a long time. This issue has been studied for years and now, local governments are implementing free programs for spouses that have a problem with substance abuse to get help.
Marriage can be a good deal if you really work at respecting each other and love each others purpose.
Joshua Uebergang is owner of Free-Relationship-Advice.org where he teaches people free relationship advice online. You can also get more advice for a successful marriage. He has a free newsletter on relationships you can signup to where you'll get a special bonus.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Three Powerful Words That Can Change Any Trouble Situation
It was 16th June, 2005, when I boarded a bus from Enugu en-route Lagos, Nigeria (night bus). The journey was peaceful not until at about 4am when the driver announced the stopping over of the bus at one of the terminal to enable the passengers ease themselves. We alighted from the bus to do just that, but while doing that not quite too long the driver left the terminal without me.
Hurriedly I ran after the bus with a hope of catching up with the bus but all efforts failed. But while running, another bus coming behind stopped to give me a lift. And while inside the bus I was boiling inside with anger and contemplating the kind of drastic actions to take against the Driver and the bus Company for committing such a blunder mistake by abandoning me.
After two hours of hot chase, we finally met the bus and the driver. With anger in my voice I asked him “why did you leave me behind”? The first word that came out of his mouth was “I am Sorry”. Instantly I was pacified. He apologized for his mistake. What do you expect me to do again as person after having apologized?
Every one of us makes mistakes in our relationship with our neighbor, marriages, offices, business associates. Often we repeatedly commit these mistakes. If however you are willing to face your mistakes and apologize to people you offend, you will notice that stiff resistance dissolves and a spirit of forgiveness prevails. If you are unwilling to acknowledge your mistakes, then you have a serious problem - pride. A woman once said that the husband has never apologized to her in their twenty three years of marriage. The husband was asked if that was true. He admitted that he never did apologize to his wife because it was unmanly to say to his wife I am sorry. To him he said his father have never apologized to this mother.
“A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stirs up anger. Prov.15:1” With the words of your mouth you can build up your relationship with your partner, neighbor, business associate, boss in the office. Also with the words of your mouth you can tear down what took you years to build. I have used this Powerful three word s in my 14 years of marriage. It is a proven tool to change the face of trouble spot. How I wish people today will learn how to use these great words, the tensed situation will receive a peaceful solution.
It takes a humble heart to say I am sorry. It takes lover of peace to admit his fault so as to enable peace reign. It takes a lover of peace to rather accept wrong than to allow the fire to result to disaster. Learn to swallow your Pride, humble yourself and tell the people you offend "I am Sorry". Those words will change the trouble zone.
Hurriedly I ran after the bus with a hope of catching up with the bus but all efforts failed. But while running, another bus coming behind stopped to give me a lift. And while inside the bus I was boiling inside with anger and contemplating the kind of drastic actions to take against the Driver and the bus Company for committing such a blunder mistake by abandoning me.
After two hours of hot chase, we finally met the bus and the driver. With anger in my voice I asked him “why did you leave me behind”? The first word that came out of his mouth was “I am Sorry”. Instantly I was pacified. He apologized for his mistake. What do you expect me to do again as person after having apologized?
Every one of us makes mistakes in our relationship with our neighbor, marriages, offices, business associates. Often we repeatedly commit these mistakes. If however you are willing to face your mistakes and apologize to people you offend, you will notice that stiff resistance dissolves and a spirit of forgiveness prevails. If you are unwilling to acknowledge your mistakes, then you have a serious problem - pride. A woman once said that the husband has never apologized to her in their twenty three years of marriage. The husband was asked if that was true. He admitted that he never did apologize to his wife because it was unmanly to say to his wife I am sorry. To him he said his father have never apologized to this mother.
“A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stirs up anger. Prov.15:1” With the words of your mouth you can build up your relationship with your partner, neighbor, business associate, boss in the office. Also with the words of your mouth you can tear down what took you years to build. I have used this Powerful three word s in my 14 years of marriage. It is a proven tool to change the face of trouble spot. How I wish people today will learn how to use these great words, the tensed situation will receive a peaceful solution.
It takes a humble heart to say I am sorry. It takes lover of peace to admit his fault so as to enable peace reign. It takes a lover of peace to rather accept wrong than to allow the fire to result to disaster. Learn to swallow your Pride, humble yourself and tell the people you offend "I am Sorry". Those words will change the trouble zone.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
How to bring romance back into your life
How to bring romance back into your life
There are 3 great things in this world. The first thing is for you to love someone. The second thing is for someone to love you back and the third greatest thing is for the first
and second thing to happen at the same time...”
I was talking to a bunch of friends and I found that some of them were complaining about the lack of romance in their lives, and I wondered why. One of my friends in particular I noticed complains a lot about everything and one of my friends is always happy about everything. Upon analyzing and looking at their lives I found that there was really not much difference in their lives. It was just the way they looked at things.
The way we look at things really affect us and the quality of life we lead. My spiritual guide and master, a very wise man, says focus on what you want in our life and that will grow manifold in your life. How true! My friend who focuses on the negative seems to be drowning in not so desirable situations, while my friend who always nearly focuses on the good things she has, seems so happy and content, and more and more good thing seem to come her way.
In introspection I have found the same works in my life too. Whatever I seem to focus on seems to multiply and envelopes me. The same situation if I change the way I look it again changes everything. The same situation, the same life but just the focus is different and such a different result. Now I have started focusing on what I want, and not what I don’t have. Nature has created everything in abundance and all I have to do is ask and then put my efforts towards getting it and at some point it comes my way.
The same way I was relating this to my friends. Focus on what you want. In this situation – romance. Okay, so let’s look at it. What are you doing about it? Well, at the moment, honestly nothing, except complaining about the lack of romance. So let’s turn it around. Think of what you have and what you want. So what do we have- a great spouse whom we love. Now what do we want- romance, romance rekindled, a romantic life.
Here are some easy steps to getting what you want:
• Focus on the positive
• Ask for what you desire and then surrender it
• Put forth self effort to attaining what you want.
Here is one way to jumpstart that romance and bring the zing back. Surprise them with a getaway. Nothing says romance more than a getaway. You could do it in so many ways. Send them an invite asking them to go away with you. Include a gift with the invite. You don’t have to spend money, you can write a poem or surf the net and find a poem that reflects your thoughts. Draw them a card, it’s the thought and effort that counts. Pick out some flowers from your backyard; make a cd of your favorite songs that you can bring to the getaway.
You could even put together a basket of romantic things that both you and your partner like. Some ideas for the basket would be wine, chocolate, favorite music, love coupons made out by you for your loved one to redeem, favorite romantic movie, lingerie, or some fun adult toys. If you don’t have time you can always get a basket from a store, there are plenty online, however make sure you plan for it.
There are many different ways you can plan your getaway. First surprise them with the invite and gift and then you can either keep it a complete surprise or let them know the plans. Here are some ideas:
• Weekend getaway to some place close by, a favorite bed and breakfast, or spa resort
• Long beautiful scenic drive ending with a nice romantic dinner
• Picnic at a park or favorite outdoor location. If you are planning on a picnic you could surprise them and bring a picnic basket with your most favorite foods and wines. Don’t forget the dessert. Maybe some chocolate dipped strawberries or some delicious chocolate.
If you are going away for the weekend and you have already made arrangements then you can have flowers or a gift basket waiting for your loved one at the hotel or bed and breakfast. If you have time to make the basket then customize it and make it as personal as you can. If you don’t have time you can find a nice naughty and nice basket online.
All that is between you and what you can do is your imagination. Let it run…. Rekindle the memories and the special moments you have spent together and let that inspire you to bring that spark back.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleStreet.com/
Rashmi Patel.
There are 3 great things in this world. The first thing is for you to love someone. The second thing is for someone to love you back and the third greatest thing is for the first
and second thing to happen at the same time...”
I was talking to a bunch of friends and I found that some of them were complaining about the lack of romance in their lives, and I wondered why. One of my friends in particular I noticed complains a lot about everything and one of my friends is always happy about everything. Upon analyzing and looking at their lives I found that there was really not much difference in their lives. It was just the way they looked at things.
The way we look at things really affect us and the quality of life we lead. My spiritual guide and master, a very wise man, says focus on what you want in our life and that will grow manifold in your life. How true! My friend who focuses on the negative seems to be drowning in not so desirable situations, while my friend who always nearly focuses on the good things she has, seems so happy and content, and more and more good thing seem to come her way.
In introspection I have found the same works in my life too. Whatever I seem to focus on seems to multiply and envelopes me. The same situation if I change the way I look it again changes everything. The same situation, the same life but just the focus is different and such a different result. Now I have started focusing on what I want, and not what I don’t have. Nature has created everything in abundance and all I have to do is ask and then put my efforts towards getting it and at some point it comes my way.
The same way I was relating this to my friends. Focus on what you want. In this situation – romance. Okay, so let’s look at it. What are you doing about it? Well, at the moment, honestly nothing, except complaining about the lack of romance. So let’s turn it around. Think of what you have and what you want. So what do we have- a great spouse whom we love. Now what do we want- romance, romance rekindled, a romantic life.
Here are some easy steps to getting what you want:
• Focus on the positive
• Ask for what you desire and then surrender it
• Put forth self effort to attaining what you want.
Here is one way to jumpstart that romance and bring the zing back. Surprise them with a getaway. Nothing says romance more than a getaway. You could do it in so many ways. Send them an invite asking them to go away with you. Include a gift with the invite. You don’t have to spend money, you can write a poem or surf the net and find a poem that reflects your thoughts. Draw them a card, it’s the thought and effort that counts. Pick out some flowers from your backyard; make a cd of your favorite songs that you can bring to the getaway.
You could even put together a basket of romantic things that both you and your partner like. Some ideas for the basket would be wine, chocolate, favorite music, love coupons made out by you for your loved one to redeem, favorite romantic movie, lingerie, or some fun adult toys. If you don’t have time you can always get a basket from a store, there are plenty online, however make sure you plan for it.
There are many different ways you can plan your getaway. First surprise them with the invite and gift and then you can either keep it a complete surprise or let them know the plans. Here are some ideas:
• Weekend getaway to some place close by, a favorite bed and breakfast, or spa resort
• Long beautiful scenic drive ending with a nice romantic dinner
• Picnic at a park or favorite outdoor location. If you are planning on a picnic you could surprise them and bring a picnic basket with your most favorite foods and wines. Don’t forget the dessert. Maybe some chocolate dipped strawberries or some delicious chocolate.
If you are going away for the weekend and you have already made arrangements then you can have flowers or a gift basket waiting for your loved one at the hotel or bed and breakfast. If you have time to make the basket then customize it and make it as personal as you can. If you don’t have time you can find a nice naughty and nice basket online.
All that is between you and what you can do is your imagination. Let it run…. Rekindle the memories and the special moments you have spent together and let that inspire you to bring that spark back.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleStreet.com/
Rashmi Patel.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
When and How to know that your Marriage is in trouble
When is it time to say, "My relationship is in trouble, and we need help?" How do you know when that time is?
When couples wait too long to ask for help, the relationship may be beyond repair. The sooner help is sought, the better chance there is of recovering, saving and actually strengthening the relationship. This includes issues dealing with affairs or other types of betrayal.
The longer we wait, the more entrenched we get in destructive patterns and resentment and all hope for change is lost. At a certain point we don't even want change... we just want to be done.
The seven warning signs that a relationship is in trouble are:
1. Fighting has become the rule rather than the exception to the rule.
2. You find yourself looking outside the relationship for comfort, care, and understanding.
3. You can't remember what attracted you to your partner in the first place.
4. There is little or no intimacy in your relationship -- sleeping in different rooms or different beds, lack of interest, anger, and hostility so that intimacy is out of the question.
5. Spending very little time together, friends seem to be more important than your partner.
6. Reactions to situations are disproportionate to the content of the disagreement (i.e., feeling your partner doesn't love you because she/he didn't like the meal you cooked).
7. Feeling helpless and hopeless to change anything. Feeling done with the relationship, but unclear as to where to go and what to do. Feelings of anger, resentment, pain, and desperation are predominant.
If any or all of these describe you in your relationship, your relationship is in trouble and it won't be long before something more drastic happens, such as an affair, arguments get worse and inflate with intensity, increased jealousy, silence for longer periods of time, and sometimes even physical and/or verbal abuse.
Before your relationship reaches that critical crisis point, look at the warning signs and do something before it's too late:
Seek psychotherapy
Read books
Talk to a spiritual/religious advisor
Without help, the relationship will never get better with time; once a certain level of resentment, anger, and hostility hits, it will simply get worse and worse. Avoiding a total crisis and saving the relationship is done by knowing when you're in trouble and taking immediate action.
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