Why Do many Relationships Die?

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 5, 2008

However badly marriage may be going at the moment; however broken the relationship between the two people may be at the moment, sometime in the past two people knew a happy moment or happy moments. There must have been a time when the two people entertain their idea that they could make it out to be husband and wife. Let each love story end up as it may, the beginning is always sweet. The trouble is that the sweet portion of relationship may be over before the marriage, and the parties enter into the marriage because they do not want to hurt rather than because they are still enjoying the relationship.
Why do many relationship die?
I think there are number of reasons. We shall briefly look at some of those and suggest remedies.
The first main reason is the facts that most that most relationship start outside the will of God. The parties involved have sinned and rebelled against God. They are living outside God’s will and a relationship that was meant to satisfy, with God at the centre of the lives of the participants, fails because self is ruling of both parties or one of the parties. So two sinners who continue in their sin will fail in their relationship.
The second reason is the wrong parties are married to each other. A man whose shoe size is 9 will have a bad time with an excellent size 7 shoe.
The third reason is that many people make mistake emotional fevers which come on and off, for love and get married on the basis of these, and when the fever is over, they find that there was no love on which to build the relationship.
The fourth reason is that the love is allowed to die. Love is in sense living. If well nourished, it will grow and multiply. If badly fed it becomes dwarfish. If starved or poisoned, it dies from the starvation or poison. So to stay in love, the things that poison love must be eliminated and the things that cause love to grow must be brought in.
The following things poisons and kills love:
1. -Harsh words
2. -Cruel actions
3. –Selfish attitudes
4. –Excessive demands
5. –Superficiality
6. –Dishonesty
7. –Lying
8. –Marital unfaithfulness
9. –Dirt and disorder
10. –Ugliness
11. –Gossip
12. –Coldness
13. –Foreign interference from relatives
14. –Spiritual blacksliding
15. –Poor communication
16. –Separation from each other
17. –Pride
18. –Exposure of the faults of the partners to others
19. –Extravagance
20. –Lack of a clear sense of direction
21. –Poor leaderships from the husband
22. –Insubmission from the wife
23. –Laziness
24. –Financial security(the best security is that with God as the Guarantor).
The following causes love to grow:
1 -Tender words
2 -Tender and understanding actions
3 -A selfless attitude
4 -Generousity
5 -Hospitality
6- Humility
7 - Openness (No hide and seek)
Can the death of relationship be avoided. Ofcourse, yes. If only and if we can take serious thought on the above. Heaven will be our limit of joy and peace of our marriage. Marriage is made to be enjoyed and not to be endured .
Posted by Nicholas Anyanwu Emeka at 11:25 PM 0 comments